Need You Now
by Heart Full of Elves
Summary: After their run-in with the cannibals, Tosh won't let Ianto out of her sight.


_Note: Written on 5/1/15. I wrote this the day after a grass fire meant we had to be evacuated temporarily. I got panicky when I couldn't see my sister, so Tosh and Ianto's need to stay together after a big scare is legit, trust me._

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><p>Covered in bruises and scratches and hurting all over, Tosh and Ianto refuse to be parted after their ordeal. Jack and Owen both try to convince them to let the paramedics check them over for injuries, but neither is having any of that, afraid, even though the police are dealing with the cannibals, that if they let each other out of their sight for even a moment, the danger will come back. The thought of Ianto being pulled away from her now makes Tosh's heart race and her chest tighten, her palms sweating. She makes no effort to physically cling on to Ianto, and likewise he makes no move to touch her, but they stand together with mere millimetres in between them. The fierce expressions on both their faces tell anyone who dares approach that whoever separates them will face deadly consequences.<p>

Once Torchwood has reported everything to the police and the paramedics, and Gwen has questioned the cannibal ringleader, they're free to go. Jack breaks the speed limit by thirty kilometres in his hurry to get his team out of the Breacon Beacons and back to Cardiff, and not even Gwen Cooper, ex-police constable, complains. They were all so close to being killed – to being_ eaten_, Tosh corrects herself – that she doesn't care about the dangers of speeding as long as she makes it home in one piece.

After they return to the hub and Jack has dismissed them all with the strict order not to come into work until the day after tomorrow, Owen and Gwen head off, Jack goes inside their base to do his thing, and Tosh and Ianto are left in the car park, still practically joined at the hip. Ianto hasn't spoken for several hours now, which neither surprises nor worries Tosh. She doesn't feel much like talking either.

But she looks up at him, biting her lip and imploring him with her huge dark eyes, and says in a meek voice, "I don't want to be alone after all this. This is just too much to deal with on my own." She doesn't _ask_, but she hopes he reads in between the lines and sees her unspoken question anyway.

She isn't sure if it's because he was thinking the same thing, but he catches on and asks, looking just as shy, "Do you want me to come home with you?"

Gratitude threatens to burst her heart wide open. If she went home alone, she isn't sure if she would wake up the next morning, that's how much she isn't coping with this. After everything she's seen over the past few years, _this_ is what will break her if she lets it.

She nods. "Would you?" she asks, her voice sounding small, broken, and higher-pitched than usual.

He nods too, and replies simply, "Yeah."

"Okay."

She can't explain why, but she slips her hand into his as she leads him to her car. Maybe she needs the physical assurance that she's alive and so is he, and that they escaped together. Or maybe it's to let Ianto know that he isn't alone, that he has a friend in her, and that while she can't express her thankfulness for him in words, she appreciates him nonetheless. After all, she is reminded as they hop into the vehicle, he stayed by her side when they were in mortal danger, and let himself be beaten up to give her a chance of escape. Seeing him demonstrate such ferocity and determination on account of her warmed her heart, and she intends to ensure that he knows how much she values that.

The drive to Tosh's flat is long and silent, but it's a companionable silence, each of them knowing what is going through the other's head and therefore not needing to voice those thoughts. Words, conversation, it all seems trivial in comparison to the night they've just had. No, she thinks, pulling into the underground car park beneath her block of flats, the silence is much better. The silence doesn't remind her of menacing, cannibalistic, _sick_ villagers with their meat cleavers and wooden bats used for slicing and… _tenderising_ human flesh.

She doesn't remember the journey from the car to her front door, but suddenly she's fitting her key in the lock and inviting Ianto inside her home. Unsure of what to do now – they have the whole afternoon and evening to fill in – she decides to be hospitable and asks her young companion if he would like a hot drink. His response is positive.

They make the tea together, still not wanting to be parted, even for the five minutes it takes to make two cups of tea. She lets Ianto put extra sugar in both their cups, acknowledging that she is still in shock and therefore the sweetness will do her some good. She suspects that he's still in shock too.

Steaming mugs in hand, they then retreat to the sofa, wincing as the movement of sitting down causes all their aches and bruises to make themselves heard loud and clear. Tosh wonders what to do now. Being home in the middle of the day, practically prohibited from working, is new and very unusual – disconcerting, even. Ianto seems to think the same thing, for he turns his head to look at her with a lost expression that likely mirrors her own. She shrugs. He shrugs too, and she would laugh at the absurdity of their lives that they have an abundance of free time for once but nothing to do with that time, if only she could find anything amusing after this last traumatic experience.

After a minute, in which she avoids Ianto's gaze and blows on her tea, she looks across the sofa to him and suggests watching telly for a bit.

"Okay," he replies, though he sounds uncertain, like he doesn't really want to.

They watch crappy midday television for less than five minutes before Tosh can't stand it anymore. She can't stomach the artificial drama. She turns it off and puts the remote down on the coffee table before turning towards Ianto. She takes a long sip of her drink for courage, burning her tongue because the tea's still hot, but not minding, because this small, almost minuscule, not noteworthy in the slightest, amount of pain is nothing compared to what Ianto suffered at the hands of their captors not so many hours ago. She sets her mug down on a coaster and puts her hands in her lap.

"Can…" Her voice breaks, so she clears her throat and tries again. "I know we're not particularly close, and this might sound odd, but… can I hug you? Just to reassure myself that we're okay?"

She twiddles her thumbs, knowing that hers is a strange request and that Ianto would be well within his rights to refuse. After all, they _aren't_ close, although she wishes they were at least acquaintances. That would be better than mere colleagues, and after the disaster with the Cyberwoman, she wants to make an effort with him.

To her relief, he gives her a haunted smile, a quick flash of teeth that appears very forced and his eyes not at all smiling. "Please do."

They both shift so they can put their arms around each other. She clings to him like a limpet on a rock, and she just barely notices that he seems to hold on to her with the same degree of fear and desperation.

"Oh god," she tells his chest, her whole body trembling in his protective embrace. "I thought they were going to kill you and that I'd be forced to watch before they killed me too. And – and it was worse than murder because they cut up the bodies for m-meat, treating humans like animals…" She's babbling, and she isn't the sort to babble, but she was so scared and sickened by what the villages were doing that she doesn't care if her sentences are even coherent, as long as she shares this with someone. "At first it was like a challenge and I was high on adrenaline, but then… I was just so terrified," she admits with a sob that shakes her whole body.

Ianto doesn't say anything, and she doesn't need him to. She shuts up as well, and just enjoys the security that his arms around her offer. She's safe now, in her own home, and the baddies have been dealt with; like any murder mystery, justice will be served. No-one can hurt her or Ianto anymore, and they're both alive.

They've both escaped with their lives, if not their innocence. (That _humans_ could be the cause of such wrongness won't be easily forgotten. This is the one thing she's seen, working for Torchwood, that can't be explained. It's just _wrong_, in so many ways.)

But that loss of innocence is okay – the shock, the trauma, her loss of faith in the human race are all okay, and she can deal with them. As long as Ianto stays beside her, as long as they can hold each other, she'll be okay.


End file.
